Starting to Play Out

Boy Child starting to play out

Boy Child is 8 now and we’ve decided it’s time to let him play out. Some of his friends are starting to play out and he really wanted to join them. I was certainly playing by his age and I’m keen for him to have some of the freedom that I enjoyed as a child. Playing out also fits with the Free Range Parenting Style we’re aiming for. While the right age to play out depends on the child, we felt that 8 was the right age for Boy Child to start playing out.

 

Where we live

We live on a small estate which has lots of families on it. There are a few “greens” dotted about where children meet up to play, one of which is quite near out house. The green is surrounded by houses and children from those, and surrounding houses, play out on the green. Until 5 years ago we lived on the edge of that green. While I love our house now, I almost wish we still lived there so that it would be easier for the children to play out. People who live right on the green let them play out from around 4 or 5 and just keep an eye on them from inside.

Houses on our estate are built on walkways. This means that lots of children can walk to the green without crossing a road. Unfortunately we aren’t in that position and have to cross a fairly busy road to get there. This has been the main stumbling block to playing out in the past. We’ve let him run errands for us before, like going to the post box, but we’ve always kept an eye out for him coming back so we can see him across the the road. On a couple of occasions I’ve let him take my mobile and he’s rung the house phone when he’s ready to cross back over.

 

Working out a plan

Neither of these option really work for playing out though. I couldn’t keep an eye out for him all afternoon. I didn’t trust him not to lose my mobile if he put it down somewhere. We are lucky that my Mum lives a short, road free, walk from the green so we made a plan that, I would see him across the road and then go and pick him up an hour later. If he wanted or needed to come home anytime before that, he would walk to his Gran’s and she would ring me. 

We put in place various rules to make sure things ran smoothly. He is only allowed to play on the green. If his friends go elsewhere he needs to go to his Gran’s. He has one particular friend who lives on the green. We agreed that he could go in to her house if invited, but needed to ask her Mum to text me so that I knew where he was. There are lots of other general safety rules that are important, like not talking to strangers etc, but he’s already pretty well versed in those.

 

How it went

We were both pretty excited the first time he went out. His Dad tends to worry more than me but everything went smoothly. He played football with some boys, some are in his class, others are in different years at his school. One of the things I love about playing out is the chance to make different friends. I think as they get older, having different groups of friends offers some protection against the drama of teenage relationships. When I went to pick him up was happily running around, like an 8 year should be. It made me truly happy to see it.

He’s been playing out for a few weeks now and is still loving it. He’s been into his friends house once or twice and I always get a text letting me know he’s there. I do try to discourage him ending up there too often as I don’t want him to make a pain of himself. Mostly he plays football which, for him, is heaven.

 

The future

With summer coming, I’m expecting to see playing out become a regular feature of our lives. I will need to trust him to cross the road at some point. There will be times he’ll want to play out when my Mum won’t be in. I’m debating getting him a cheap phone with no internet access but I’m not sure how practical that will be. 

His little sister is a bit miffed that she can’t go out with him. If we lived on the green she would definitely be out there. As it’s further away, I don’t really feel she’s ready, at 6 and a half. In a lot of ways she’s more mature than him, but she’s also less confident. I worry that she would get upset and not know what to do. The difficulty will come when her best friend, who lives on the green, starts playing out. It will be hard for her to see her brother playing out with her friend when she isn’t allowed but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

If you’d like to get your kid’s playing out but don’t live in a street where it would work, check out the Playing out website which helps communities to close streets in order to run safe playing out sessions.

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Starting to play out - Boy going out to play

 

10 Comments

  1. April 18, 2019 / 10:02 am

    Lovely post! Glad to see parents like yourself still let their kiddos out to play. It’s a shame, in the olden day’s things were so much safer! Thank you for posting!
    Maryanne

  2. April 18, 2019 / 4:16 pm

    Good for you encouraging him to go be with friends on his own! It is really important for kids’ development.

  3. April 20, 2019 / 10:42 am

    I love your ideas on supporting children to be independent and resilient. It’s a shame that so many children aren’t allowed to play out anymore, I’ve so many memories of playing on the street in London! I don’t really see many kids doing that anymore. Great post!

  4. April 20, 2019 / 10:43 am

    It is good to hear of people letting kids out Where i live it is quite common X #thatfridaylinky

  5. April 20, 2019 / 10:51 am

    Playing out was one of the highlights of my childhood. It’s so good you have a plan with him so he knows how to keep safe while having fun.

    Viv @ https://www.vivsimone.com

  6. May 7, 2019 / 11:13 am

    I have so many fond memories of playing out as a kid. I lived right in front of our green, and we all gathered there to play football etc. Great times! Well done on coming up with a great plan. Claire.

  7. May 7, 2019 / 12:04 pm

    Where we live playing out was not an option as we live on a busy main road and also there were very few children where we live so it was always parks and friends until she was old enough to be given that bit of independance x

  8. May 7, 2019 / 12:07 pm

    What a sensible young man, showing how responsible he is with texting. I could never play out as a child as I lived on a fast main road, but our house now is in a cul-de-sac so hoping there are some my littles age when they’re old enough to play out.

  9. May 7, 2019 / 6:36 pm

    We let our daughter start to play out last summer. She is 9 now. We live off road and so was an easier decision but like most parents it’s still a worry! Lovely to read a similar story to ours

  10. May 9, 2019 / 7:48 pm

    Gosh, it’s a tricky one. Back in the day it was so much easier and so normal but now I think everyone’s so worried. It sounds like you’ve got such a sensible boy there!

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