Before I had children it never occurred to me that some people are more suited to certain parts of parenting than others. In fact for a long time, I just felt like I was shit at it. As my kids have grown older I have come to realise that actually, I’m just not temperamentally suited to the early years, and that’s ok. If you’re struggling through at the moment with under 5s, hang in there, you’re not a bad parent and it does get better. Here are the reasons why the early years just weren’t for me.
1. I’m an Introvert
I like to be alone for a good proportion of my day (or at the very least, when I’m having a wee). Small children do not like to be alone. This is a bad combination. I spent a fair bit of the early years hiding.
2. I hate dribble.
Of all of the bodily fluids, dribble is my least favourite. Unfortunately it’s also the most prevalent. That phase where they blow bubbles with it was not my favourite (and resulted in more hiding).
3. I like to be organised
While I’m crap at cleaning, I do like things to be tidy. I can’t relax if the room is messy. This left me with the option of spending all my time tidying up (never gonna happen, see my next point), or leaving it till then end of the day and always feeling slightly on edge.
4. I’m essentially lazy
This is isn’t something I realised until I had children. I’ve always had lots going on in my life but it’s tended to be mental stuff. Stuff I could do from my sofa. It was only when I had a small child demanding something every time my bum hit a seat that in realised how lazy I really am.
5. I get migraines
Weather you get migraines or not, you probably know that when someone has a migraine they need a quiet, dark room. When you are a parent you get flashing toys that sing nursery rhymes at an ungodly volume and children whose quietest voice could be heard on Mars. Migraines and small children are entirely incompatible.
6. I hate repetition
I’ve actually no idea if this is just my children or all children, but they love to repeat things. Sounds, words, actions. They do it over and over and over again. It drove me nuts. I always felt bad asking them to stop because it’s not really that unreasonable but it was that or resort to more hiding.
7. I love food
Having small children really disrupted my eating habits. On a Sunday, I liked a lazy breakfast, at around 9am, while watching the news. Gone. I liked to have a nice, quiet cup of tea and a biscuit (or 5) when I got home. No more. I liked to go out to a restaurant and enjoy three courses at my leisure. No chance. With small children it’s three meals a day and two healthy snacks, consumed at the dining table while talking which teletubby is your favourite.
8. I’m a home body
I love being at home, pottering about, reading, snuggling on the sofa. You wouldn’t imagine that would change much when you have kids. You’d be wrong. Being at home with small children is the worst. They whine, demand snacks and wreck the place. Plus the clock moves at half speed, so out I had to go. Even soft play is better than a baby and toddler at home.
So, those are the reasons I’m not cut out to parent the under 5s. I’d love to know if anyone else has found themselves really not cut out for certain stages of parenting?
If you’ve enjoyed this, you might also want to check out my post about Under Fives verses Over Fives.
ohhh I could have written this !! Yes to it all!! Especially liking to be on my own! You don’t get that when you’ve 3 under 3 ….thank goodness they’re now teenagers and actually lovely company!! #blogcrush
Being alone is awesome!
Parenting during migraines, or any intense pain at all, requires awards and medals! You are a warrior! xoxo #thatfridaylinky
I absolutely adore the baby stage. Once they start moving I’m out! My ideal would be to have babies continously then have someone else take over at about 9 months hahaha
I can relate to so much of this!
The organization thing was the hardest for me to let go of. My daughter seems to take after me in that regard so most of her stuff is “where it goes” but its still something I struggle with #thatfridaylinky
Yes, to 1-4 this is so me. Although swap, number 2 for snot. 🤦🏼♀️
So honest. I’m also a fan of getting out more now that I have children!
For me it’s the stage I’m just getting to- teenagers! I’m finding the transition into adulthood really hard- the lines are just all blurry and she’s taking fully advantage. Quick thinking and having an answer for everything is essential for this stage of parenthood but I’m too tired!! 😆
I’m a giant introvert too – and whenever I spend a weekend with my godchildren I leave feeling absolutely exhausted! Can’t imagine doing it full time…
Yes yes yes – me too. I always knew I would be useless at the baby bit but thought I would be better with toddlers than I am!
Loved reading this and the honesty involved. Parenting is hard at the best of times, but sometimes for some it is even harder. Well done for a great post #BlogCrush
This is so true! Parenting seems to also be at odds with being a control freak (like me) because frankly, when you have kids, you have no control! #itsok
Yep, parenting is definitely hard on control freaks!
I love this, especially the point about hating repetition – that one made my eyes light up! It drives me crazy too and I have had to practice great patience with that one. Also I have learned to start tuning it out a bit. I haven’t really had a choice because my 2 year old daughter never stops talking. NEVER. I used to think sometimes I wasn’t a good mother because things like this annoy me so much too but now I feel better! #itsok
I’ve got one that never stops talking too, at night I have to shut his door while he’s still talking otherwise he’d never go to sleep!
I love this post! Us mums are not the same and our children are not the same as next-door-but-ones kids. We HAVE to do the mummy thing our own way. Personally I love the younger years up. I am starting to struggle with my 10, soon to be, 11 year old. It would seem I am not temperamentally equipped to deal with stroppy, smelly, attitudey pre-teens so god help me when they are teenagers!
I’m currently enjoying the primary years but I suspect I might be less keen on the teens!
Yes! All of this! With double helpings of 1, 2 and 8. Glad it’s not just me. Thanks for the honesty – great post. X
Introvert parenting is hard!
I knew I’d love this post before I even started reading it! I do love it and agree with so many of them – my god the DRIBBLE!! Please tell me it gets better. Or at least just less repetitive. #ItsOK
Glad it’s not just me that hates dribble! I’m definitely better suited to the primary years!
Omg I feel like you are me right now with a baby and toddler and trying to escape anytime I can I get so bored playing with them I am absolutely sick to death of baby tv and cleaning poos every 5 seconds
I totally identify with every one of your points there, (except #7 as I’m super fussy and skip breakfast and lunch when I’m too lazy to make it), but now my kids are 11 and 8, with their own bedrooms it’s like they understand I prefer being on my own for hours at a time and they entertain themselves until they’re hungry. So I’m happy to say, it does get better! 😁
I’m dreaming of the days when they just want to hang out alone in their rooms (although Sod’s law, I’ll probably miss them!)