My Mum is awesome. I have amazing memories from childhood and she’s always been there to support me. Despite this, there are some ways in which I parent differently from her. Some of these are about me wanting to do things differently, but mostly they are based on wanting my kids to not be the pain in the arse I often was as a child.
1. If you’re too sick for school, you stay in bed.
I was not a big fan of school. In fact I hated it and was forever trying to get out of it. One little sniffle, a tickle in my throat or passing pain in my tummy and I was by my mum’s side informing her that I was dying and couldn’t possibly attend school. On the occasions where she relented, I would stay in bed until the morning school bell rang and then be up, playing games, wrecking the kitchen with my cooking attempts or begging my mum to entertain me. In order to avoid this fate, if my kids are off school sick, they stay in bed until the end of day bell has rang.
2. I’m Rubbish at Playing
As an only child, my mum was often called upon to be my playmate. Unfortunately for her, she was very good at it. Unlike my friends, she let me choose all of the games, let me have the best toys and let me boss her about to my hearts content. I have no idea if she enjoyed these games but as an adult, I hate playing and as a result, I make sure I am very bad at it. This minimises how often I am asked. It is also one of the reasons I have two kids instead of one.
3. I’m Relaxed about Fussy Eating
I was a crap eater as a child, incredibly picky and point blank refused to eat veg of any kind. I remember my poor mum visiting the local market and buying all kinds of exotic fruit and vegetables for me to try in an attempt to find something healthy I would eat. She had very littler success. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I started to eat vegetables and actually ended up really loving them. I learnt from her experiences that it’s impossible to force a child to eat something it doesn’t want to so when it comes to Girl Child’s fussy eating, I try not to get to stressed about it.
4. We Have a Dog (But Not a Pony)
As a child I had a whole menagerie of pets but my mum always said no to a dog. Thanks to an earlier experience that taught her just how needy dogs are, it was the one thing she always said no to. We had cats, fish, hamsters, tortoises, rabbits, guinea pigs and rats. When I was older, we even had a pony and this is the animal that will always be a firm no from me. Ponies cost a bloody fortune and if I see my kids so much as look at pony magazine in the corner shop they get dragged away before they start getting any ideas.
5. I Let my Children Watch Films they aren’t old enough for
My mum was always a super strict follower of the British Board of Film Classification rules. If it was a 12, I wasn’t watching it even one day before my twelfth birthday. If it was an 18, it wasn’t coming back with me from Blockbuster until I was old enough to drink. These rules meant that I actually missed out on a whole raft of films that my friends had been allowed to watch. They had all seen them by the time I was old enough to be allowed to bring them home for the movie nights that were a regular feature of my teenaged years. My kids are 8 and 10 and we are currently working our way through the Marvel Films with them. Nuff said.
I’d love to know what you do differently from your parents in the comments. You might also enjoy the Things I Learnt About Parenting from my Mum.
Kirsty Hall says
Loved this one Josie! I too live in fear of my kids even thinking that they might like to go riding. There is no way I am ever getting a horse!! #MischiefAndMemories
I’m totally different to my mum but she has changed now she is a grandmother and is much less strict than she was with me and my sister! Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories
Crummy Mummy says
What a great topic for a post! I parent very differently from my mum – in fact I’m the complete opposite! #mischiefandmemories
Annette, 3 Little Buttons says
Oh wow, did you really have a pony! How exciting. Though I have to agree about the costs involved. I think there’s definitely something in learning about what works best for your family, and it’s not always following in the footsteps of how your own parent parented. I think I’m a bit more strict on having pets. We have Alfie the dog and that feels like A LOT of pet! Haha. Thank you for joining us for #mischiefandmemories xx
Katrina | ChatterFoxBlog says
I parent very differently to my mum. I am a more gentle parent and I allow my child to express their emotions, I don’t expect my child to ‘shut up’. I’m also far more relaxed when it comes to food and eating habits. One thing I agree with is the ‘if you’re ill you stay in bed’ and I also hate playing!
Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) says
It’s interesting to think about how we parent differently from how we were parented. I think my parenting style is quite similar to my mum’s though although like you, I think I’m more relaxed about fussy eating than my mum was. #MischiefandMemories
Karen, the next best thing to mummy says
I parent differently from my num, but we are also similiar in parenting in a few ways#mischiefandmemories@_karendennis
Sema Stewart says
It is only natural that each individual has a different parenting than one another, her siblings and even her parents because the coinditions and the variations are different. This may be related to time and the culture but not entirely. It is more related to the individuals unique choices and view. This is what makes life so exciting and various.
eg: The way a mum deals with a crying child would be different depending on what circumstances is making the child cry. How does that child deal with her own pain or frustration. How old is the child. Who is around the child. In which context. If this is a recurring incident. If the mum is exhausted, happy or neutrol etc etc…..
This is a single very common incident in a childs life. There are countless interactions that forms that relationship between a parent and a child. Comparing the relationship between a child and the parent to another child and another parent is impossible and it creates anxiety. The comparison usually anticipate a right or wrong. However there is no right or wrong in these circumstances as long as the relationship between the parent and the child is in humane.
I used to watch black and white Alfred Hitchcock movies when I was 5. My parents were overworked middle class teachers who forgot to check up what was their daughter watching because they were so busy educating other peoples children. I am a perfectly normal individual with a creative mind. The violence and the psychological tension I watched in those movies when I was so young did not turn me into a psychopath. On the contrary I think watching these seriously adult movies did add to my creative thinking a lot. Hoever I do not lay out these movies for my children to watch. They are 8 and six and still weatching cartoons mailnly. This is what is commonly accesible for them at the moment.
What I believe is that it is impossible to create an exact circumstances of a childhood to another child and even if we could the child is different than the other. So the choices he/she will make, the perception of those circumstances will still be different. This is why these comparisons are pointless.