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You are here: Home / Parenting Life & Humour / Parenting Life / Things I Learnt About Parenting From My Mum

Things I Learnt About Parenting From My Mum

Written by Josie

Having recently written about the ways my parenting differs from my mum’s, it made me think about all the ways it’s similar. I actually learnt a huge amount about how to be a good parent from her and so I thought I’d share the highlights.

Read to your Children Every Night

My mum read to be every night before I went to sleep. I would beg and beg for one more story, one more chapter, one more page. This quite often ended with her falling asleep before I did! I started reading to my children ever night when they were just a few months old and have continued ever since. My mum carried on reading to me long after I could read myself and I have done the same. I believe listening to stores helped my son fall in love with books and that love of books is what helped him learn to read even though he found it hard work.

Don’t Reward School Performance

As a child I was a bit put out by this one but as an adult, I’m totally onboard. When my friends did well in tests they were often rewarded with gifts, days out or even cash. I thought that it was dreadfully unfair that all I got was a heart felt well done. As an adult, I realise that this lack of reward for my work is part of what led me to be intrinsically motivated. I am driven to work hard without any external reward. I really want this for my children too and so, while I am often tempted to bribe them to do some more timetables practice with the promise of extra screen time, I try not to do it.

Let Them Play Out

While this was probably more important for me as an only child than it is for my kids, my experience of playing out has led me to want that for my children too. In the school holidays I spent much of my time playing out in the street with my friends, occasionally popping into the house to get food or beg for money for ice cream. I believe that by playing out with my friends, with no adult supervision, we learnt how to deal with our own disagreements and that’s a skill we all need.

Relax about Mess

I always remember that my bedroom was my own and it was up to me what happened in it. While she occasionally suggested that I might like to tidy it, she treated it as my space to do what I liked with and I eventually earn to take pride in that. I can also remember being allowed to make huge amounts of mess when I was playing and I loved having a mum who didn’t stunt my play with worries about keeping things tidy. I try to have the same attitude with my own my kids. When they were toddlers, we did lots of messy play, the garden is full of junk for them to get creative with and the crafty cupboard is always open for them to get creative (although that last one did take a while!)

Never Go Bed on an Argument

This is one I practice not just with my kids but with my husband too. If we have disagreements, they are always sorted out before bedtime so that we can all get a good nights sleep. Sometimes this means a bit of a late night while hurt feelings are mended, sometimes we need a bit of time after we’ve made up for things to feel normal again but I think its worth it to stop any of laying in bed and worrying.

And Finally, Put the Christmas Stocking Outside the Bedroom

Once I was older, my Mum told me all about how late she would have to stay up, waiting for me to fill asleep on Christmas Eve so that she could fill my stocking. The older I got, the later she had to stay up. This always stuck in my head to when we had kids I made it our tradition to hang the stockings down stairs. I also had to good sense to buy a special door hanger to leave teeth for the tooth fairy in so that I didn’t have to go rummaging under pillows in the night!

Confessions of a Crummy Mummy

Filed Under: Parenting Life

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. MomOfTwoLittleGirls says

    June 22, 2021 at 9:04 am

    I love this. I’m also a big fan of reading and my girls (now they are older) read to themselves every night before bed. My mum taught me so many things too. I should write a similar post. Thanks for sharing. #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  2. Crummy Mummy says

    June 21, 2021 at 7:19 pm

    Was nodding along to all of these! Especially the stocking OUTSIDE the bedroom one! Thanks so much for linking up with #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  3. Sam says

    June 19, 2021 at 10:37 pm

    Yes relax about mess is a good lesson to learn. X #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  4. Prabs says

    June 17, 2021 at 8:17 pm

    Gosh your mum sounds amazing!! Wish I’d read this post 17 years ago before I had my first child lol. #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  5. Katrina | ChatterFoxBlog says

    June 17, 2021 at 11:17 am

    Some of these remind me of my mum. She would always let me play out and because she gave me that freedom I never pushed the boundaries. She also read to me a lot and now as adults we discuss what books we’re reading. I’ve read to my daughter since day one and she too love books now.

    Katrina x
    #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
  6. Claire Kirby says

    June 16, 2021 at 2:40 pm

    Love these. My Mum’s top tip for Christmas was to buy 2 Christmas stockings so you just swap the empty one for the full one! Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

    Reply
    • Josie says

      June 16, 2021 at 6:54 pm

      That’s genius! Definitely doing that!

      Reply

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A blog about trying to raise independent kids while retaining a sense of humour. Me: I’m Josie, a 43 year old introvert and former librarian. Them: My husband Chris, Boy Child who is 11 and Girl Child who is 9. The others: Hera the cat and Baxter the dog. Read More…

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